It would be easy to say that I’m all better by now. Well, it isn’t. I still have my ups and downs. Unlike everyone else’s ups and downs, mine extend beyond feeling happy or sad. Mine are from one extreme to the other. I either feel as if I could conquer the world, or I feel like I just want to curl up and die.
I’m looking for everything I can to hold onto every bit of humanity I have left. It’s a fleeting thing. I am becoming quite bitter. No one understands. Things I’ve done in the past, were not me, but something in my brain suppressing the very essence of me.
It’s always easy to boil a person down to their actions. However, it’s far more complicated to understand the reason for those actions. Whether bipolar or completely normal, we all ascribe traits to each other, regardless of valid reasons. Many times, those of us suffering the illness expect people to disregard the things we’ve done, while conversely, those without will never understand that manic and depressive episodes suppress, not reflect,who we really are.
Those of us with the mental illness have to atone for the things we’ve done, those without should understand the struggle that we go through every day.