Some say that life is a gift. It’s not. Life and existence are thrust upon us. We have no choice. Now, before you go calling someone to come check on me, I’m not saying I want to commit suicide. I am merely stating that we need to start acknowledging existence for what it is.
Many people in this world experience, not a perfect existence, but one that isn’t totally full of heartache and despair. Most experience a fairly normal life of slight ups and downs. Of course everyone hits some sort of rock bottom, and the last thing I want to do is minimalise anyone’s struggle. However, and luckily, most people’s rock bottom doesn’t last their entire lives.
Mine do. At this point in my life, I struggle to find any meaning to myself and my presence on this planet. Yes, I have a daughter, but she would get over me not being in existence anymore. Again, I’m not saying that I want to kill myself, so put down the phones.
One thing to understand about me, is that I am constantly rheuminating on the nature of our existence as a species. I quite often come to the conclusion that self awareness in humans is the biggest curse.
I turn on the TV and there is nothing but death and destruction in this world. We are overrun with greed and fear. Fear of the unknown and fear of the “other.” Don’t get me wrong, I fully understand that there is a lot of good in the world. There are plenty of people that truly love and care about all of humanity, but, there is far more bloodshed and far more thievery and hate of those less fortunate.
People often ask me why I’m so depressed. But how can anyone paying attention not be? I look at my parents’ generation and I see a major portion of our society that sold out their beliefs and their childrens’ futures for a piece of paper that means nothing beyond what meaning we’ve given it.
We are merely a speck in this vast universe, yet we act as if we are the most significant thing in it. I see pictures of nebula and planets like Saturn and realize that we are but a speck. We are insignificant. The universe would not blink, would feel nothing if we were to not exist. It would continue, stars dying and being reborn.
We are the all quivering afterthought of greater species that came before us. We will not last. We will destroy ourselves and nothing is stopping us, because profit margins are far more important than the existence of could possibly be the only the only planet with complex life forms.
The only comfort that I do draw from the vastness of our universe and how insignificant we are, is the fact that this process will continue elsewhere. I just hope they get it right. That they do better than we have.